.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

אז אני מנסה "להבין" קצת את אבא שלי שנתפס בתור עבריין מין פדופיל, אז מפה לשם משם לפה הגעתי לקישור הזה באתר quora (https://www.quora.com/Pedophilia-What-does-it-feel-like-to-be-a-pedophile) ששם פדופילים כותבים איך הם מרגישים, וקראתי את התיאור שהעתקתי כאן למטה (לא לחלשים).
הייתי בטוח לפני שקראתי את זה שאולי הם "טועים קצת" או אולי הם "קצת מעוותים", אבל ממה שקראתי בתיאור הזה (קראתי אמנם מהר ולא התעכבתי כי היה לי ****מאד**** קשה לקרוא) הם חיים ************לחלוטין************** בעולם דמיוני / פנטזיה לחלוטין.
אז אני בטוח שיש אינסוף רמות, דרגות, סוגים שונים, דברים שונים וכן הלאה, אבל לפחות האנשים כמו בתיאור הזה, משוגעים לחלוטין, נמצאים לגמרי בעולם אחר (למרות שכלפי חוץ הרבה מהם בטח נראים נורמלים *לחלוטין*).


It feels fine it, sometimes feels exhilarating - I've got access to a secret world of beauty and delight that 'norms' don't have, and being a paedophile has given me insight into human nature that makes me aware of the mechanisms and dangers of ignorance, irrationality and the powers of disinformation and dishonesty in the media and in mob-thinking.

There is nothingin this whole world more beautiful than a grown man and a little girl who love and care for each other. I love seeing good fathers who love and are devoted to their daughters, I love seeing a man publicly show affection for a child, even more a man showing respect for a child, taking her seriously as a person - when I see that I think: 'hmm, he could be a paedo'.

I've been lucky - I discovered I was a paedophile in early adolescence when a little girl of 11 turned round a smiled at me as I let her pass me by in a narrow passageway. It felt like I'd been blinded by beauty. I already had good friends who didn't reject me and who have remained very close friends over the subsequent decades (they are 'norms' BTW).

Being a paedophile creates has created a tension between myself and 'society' - I, in a sense, have seen 'behind the mask of society'. This has made me interested in philosophy, sociology, politics, psychology, but has especially deepened my engagement with the arts and culture. Being a paedophile has built who I am, sharpened my wits and debating and thinking skills.

I've had a lot to do with children in my life. I've never broken the law - always resisting temptation when it presents itself.

The mob-minded will be outraged by that statement - 'how can a child 'tempt' an adult!?'. But they can. A child can find an adult attractive and express that attraction. When I was young (and a lot better looking than I am now), I received a lot of attention from little girls (and boys). Some attention was sensual - no, the child wasn't 'asking for sex', but what she WAS asking was to be more intimate with me, to take the physicality of our friendship one step further - it might be just a cuddle, a kiss, her asking me to stroke her back, or asking to sleep the night with me, or to share nakedness or to have someone to learn about questions that were pre-occupying her.

I've had one deep and long-lasting relationship with a little girl. The relationship was chaste, but I use the word 'relationship' because we were committed to each other, she needed me and I needed her and, for 4 years, we were inseperable. When she entered adolescence she became less interested in me and more in her peers. I found this difficult but realised that it was all part of growing up.

I miss the years and good times we spent together - paedophilia for me is bitter-sweet - I've had my happiest moments with girls I loved, but children grow up fast and before long they have lost interest in you, or circumstances separate you. It's a love that is often intense and short-lived, no life-long relationships likes 'norms' have. I can often sink into a nostalgic fog for past love and happiness.

Of course there's the celibacy problem. Luckily I can also have relationships with grown women, though I mostly don't (I'm rare amongst paedophiles in actually liking big breasts and body hair). I've come close to marrying and having children once or twice.

The big regret in my life is not having children - it's a role I'm born to. I'm one of those guys women think would be a wonderful father because I'm so good with kids - and I know what a good father I'd have been. Again I can hear the antis and haters, the mob-minded, saying 'how can a paedophile be a good father!?' - well, they're wrong to think that - I know personally some paedos who are fathers and they are brilliant. I've spent a life-time resisting temptation - I'm a master at it - 'resisting' my own children would not have been a problem. Moreover I'd have only had children with a woman to whom I'd have been able to come out - I would never have married someone to whom I couldn't be open about this side of me.

I've always avoided breaking the law for the following reasons (in order of importance):

1/ the trauma the child would be exposed to once society started piling its stigma on.
2/ the girls I've loved have always been the children of people I respect and care for, people whom I would hate to betray.
3/ A fear of the consequences of breaking the law both on myself and my little friend, her family and my family
4/ A basic law-abiding personality

I love being a paedophile and the mob-minded haters don't get to me - though their stupidity and ignorance can be frustrating - they are incapable of coherent thought or of defending their prejudices - lapsing immediately into hate-speech, abuse and making personal allegations based purely on the workings of their feverish imaginations.

+++++++++

"The antis want the debate to be about whether a grown man can fuck a 3 year old girl, but the real debate is whether a 6 year old girl can ask a man she likes, and trusts, to stroke her bottom."